To Awaken Alone

“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world,” said Freya Stark, a British explorer and travel writer.

I couldn't agree more.

It is a feeling that leaves you wholly reliant on yourself.  Your own instincts, your own decisions.

Alone is a relative term, and in the pieces of time that I picture when reading Stark's quote it is not that I am stranded on a deserted island without a single soul for miles.  Rather I am without anyone to whom I can communicate freely with, that I am acquainted to, or that would offer input when choosing my next move.

I have woken up alone in a strange town several times throughout my travels in Thailand.  Here are just a couple : )

Koh Yao Noi

Once my friend dropped me off at a port on the Northeast side of Phuket, and I took a longtail boat (along with several others and a motorbike) to a small island named Koh Yao Noi.

On the longtail 

The island was teeny and I was able to drive all the way around the circumference via motorbike in just a few hours.  The only tourist attractions were the lovely deserted beaches and beautiful scenery.  The small thatched bungalow I rented only turned on it's electricity at 6pm when dark fell.

Waking up alone on a small island with only locals for company is quite a feeling.  It gets even better when you wander down to the sand and find you have the entire beach to yourself.

Sand and sea just for me.

My wonderfully lonely towel on one of my private beaches

I spent a couple days driving around on my rented motorbike, buying food to eat at the local markets and restaurants, and relaxing in the sun.  The scenery was phenomenal, and I only saw two other tourists (a couple) while I was on the island.

The scenery

 The journey back to Puket's small port was another experience; our boat was hit by other, larger longtail and we were pushed up onto the sandbar that was emerging as the tide rapidly dropped.  We had to wait and then be transferred to another boat in order to make it to shore.

To top that, while waiting at the port for my friend to pick me up, I was suddenly surrounded by monkeys!  I love, love love monkeys and this just topped off what was already to be one of my best experiences in Thailand.

 

Chiang Rai

Over a five day weekend I traveled by myself to Chiang Rai.  I planned on spending a night or two in the main town and then head to Akha Hill House, a hill tribe village that provided lodging, food and trekking opportunities for travelers.

I woke up before dawn and got on a not-so plush bus with bright blue seats.  It was about five hours to Chaing Rai.  When I arrived I found a guesthouse and spent time exploring the night market.  I bought a beautiful hand made gold and copper necklace from a local jeweler and a woven burn-orange throw; still two of my favorite souvenirs that returned home with me.

The next day I set out to see the White Temple, a tourist attraction I had read about.  Somehow I managed to figure out what local bus to get on and was dropped off on the side of the road.  The temple was astonishing.  The outside is white with glassy silver trim.  The path leading up is a bridge, under which a river of stone hands reach out to you.  Inside is a magnificent mural.  A large demon takes up the scope of the entryway, the door forming his open mouth.  The fires of hell burn all around, with icons of modernity representing where our world is headed.  Everything from nuclear weaponry to Keanu Reeves float among the flames.  Not what you expect to come across in a pristine white temple.

The river of hands on either side of the bridge leading into the temple. Unfortunately no pictures were allowed inside so I wasn't able to capture the mural.

 
After exploring the small town of Chiang Rai I headed to the Ahka Hill House.  I was picked up in a truck and rode in the back with a couple other guests.  It was not a smooth ride as the road wasn't even a little bit paved.  The scenery, however, was lovely.  We passed several green tea plantations and the hills were a deep green, with rows and rows of fresh tea.

The fields of green tea.  As lovely as it looks, one of the hill tribe men told me you couldn't pay him to drink the tea because it was so saturated with pesticides.

I had reserved a very basic little hut, and waking up and stepping out onto that rickety balcony was an unforgettable experience.  I love sharing moments with friends, family, even new acquaintances or fellow travelers.  But there is something so uniquely peaceful about waking up to a lovely, misty view with no schedule, no decisions to debate, no speech or listening necessary.  You are allowed to be completely selfish in keeping that entire slice of time to yourself.

The deserted bungalows to my left

The view from my balcony

In addition to rising early and enjoying the view alone, I also met several travelers staying at the Hill House.  We decided to give trekking a try, and to this day I have no idea how we are not still lost in the jungle somewhere.  This was a time when having company was a relief.  There were so many forks in the trail that we had a 50/50 chance of getting it right, and luck must have been on our side that day.  We explored waterfalls, climbed through other hill tribe villages, rode elephants and took a short boat trip across the river.

Hiking through a Lisu village.
It was very wet and muddy!

The start of our trek; crossing the river and an elephant ride.

In the jungle ~ absolutely lovely if you don't count
all the mosquitoes.

View of flooded rice fields while trekking.

“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.”

To have company is a whole other adventure in itself-- without many of my friends, family and sometimes random acquaintances I wouldn't have had some of the most wonderful and adventurous experiences of my life.

But I firmly believe that at one point or another, everyone should experience waking up alone in a foreign environment.  You discover new breathing space and a previously unknown reliance on your own instinct and ideas.  Traveling independently, you really get the chance to see how much you are capable of doing on your own ~ and it's always much more than you would have thought.  

   

What Comes Next

It has been 331 days since I left my home to spend a year teaching in South Korea.

That's a lot of days.  It's a lot of time to not see your family and friends.  People close to me have gotten married, had children, started new jobs.  2012 and the end of the world conspiracies that came along with it have passed.  A President was re-elected.  Gay marriage finally became legal in my home state, taking us one step closer to accepting people for who they are, not who we think they should be.  So many tragedies and victories have occurred around the world. 

This year was not an easy one.  There were some days, some weeks, some whole months that I just wanted to be behind me. 

I've never really been one for New Year's resolutions.  For me personally, they seem like those short-term, extreme diets people go on to lose lots of weight fast, then when the diet is over the weight just comes bouncing back.     

But if you can make the resolution into a complete change of lifestyle, I suppose that would be different.  I came across a quote around the month of August, and it became my resolution for surviving the rest of my time living in Korea.

 

(image from "WeStopHate," facebook)

We had certain goals when we moved to South Korea, and with careful planning and certain sacrifices we will accomplish these goals before we leave.  Yet coming across these words woke me up a bit and made me realize that we shouldn't simply count down the days until our plane takes off from Incheon airport and we can say, "we did it!"  Not that I'm not really looking forward to that moment, but whether this is our ideal situation or not we should still make each day count for something; not just check it off on the calendar and be glad it is over.  It was a risk we took and we are accountable to live every day of it with our eyes open and full of gratitude for each other, the people that support us, and the fact that we have the means to make these types of life choices together.

I feel that we really took this to heart and the second half of our journey was so much more enjoyable because of it.  This year as a whole has flown by, and I am incredibly glad to say that I stopped simply waiting for each day to be over.  That's no way to live, no matter where you are or what your situation. 

But now with that chapter of my life coming to an end, there are so many big decisions to be made about what comes next.  It is not always easy to discover what is deepest in your heart, or what it is you want to spend your time working towards.  Going home, I will need to come to a conclusion about what I want the next few years to look like.  I spent so much of my life with a specific idea of what I wanted, and after my third year at university this vision started to slightly shift.  Six years later I think it is still shifting and I'm not entirely sure what this new picture will look like.  It's difficult to let old wants go, not knowing if you are letting them go because they are daunting to accomplish or because they are no longer your wants.  If your wants become more simple, less selfish, is it because you have become passive in life or because your values have changed?  There are so many paths one can take in life that will lead you in such opposite directions; how does one make the choice?

Jeanette Winterson, the author of my favorite book, "The Passion," wrote:

"I have a theory that every time you make an important choice, the part of you left behind continues the other life you could have had."  

How lovely would it be if this were true?  I have had so many opportunities in life, I love the idea that I could be experiencing them all, and the piece of me that would have taken a different path continues on somewhere.

I am anxious to see what 2013 will bring.  The first half is looking pretty fantastic; nine weeks exploring Southeast Asia, including Thailand where a piece of my heart will always remain.  Following that a month in Italy with my mom; a trip where I get discover more about one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people.  After that I guess I just have to put enough faith in myself and those around me to believe that the decisions that come will be taking me in a direction I am meant to go.    

(image from Women's Tea Time, facebook)