This last week one of my 5th grade homeroom teachers and I had a rare opportunity to chat. The English offices are in a very remote location in our school, (which most of the time is a blessing), but it also means that the homeroom teachers and I only cross paths during class, when we have a room full of needy, chatty students to handle.
My 5-1 class had earned a movie day on their behavior chart, and I was standing at the back of the class trying to pay attention and monitor behavior while I watched the first forty minutes of Despicable Me for the third time in a row.
The homeroom teacher approached me and started to chat about our approaching Open Class Day at school--similar to Open House at home. He was asking me if we did this in the States, and that led to the question, "How is teaching here different from teaching in an American school?"
Oh, let me count the ways.
The first reason that popped into my head is the most important to me, and the biggest con in my opinion to teaching students that don't understand most of what comes out of your mouth and vice-versa.
You don't get the opportunity to really develop a relationship with your kids.
With higher level students, this is a different case. But with my third, fifth and sixth graders, our conversations are limited to what we are learning in the textbook or simple phrases such as how old are you, what's your name, what's your favorite food--the bare basics of conversation. That combined with the fact that I have 272 students (not counting my middle school on Fridays) the feeling of "temporary guest teacher" never really goes away.
If a student is crying in his or her seat, sure I can offer comfort but I can't find the root of the issue. While watching a movie clip and students are making comments, I have no way of knowing if they are talking about the lesson or about who won the soccer game at recess. If a student makes a joke in class and everyone, including my co-teacher chuckles, I'm left out of the loop. The little chit chat and gossip that allows you to develop a more person rapport with your students doesn't exist in my teaching world.
This definitely affects my ability to manage behavior in class, but more than that it's a bummer that I can't relate and bond with my students outside of the classroom. Especially when my little third graders run up to me chattering away in Korean, asking a million questions a minute that I don't know how to answer.
This barrier does have a couple benefits--I'm sure that there has been many a conversation that I wouldn't have wanted to hear if I had understood it. I imagine that over the past eight months my sixth grade boys have spewed out a whole array of fun facts that, if I had understood, I would have had to deal with. It does lift away a lot of the responsibility that homeroom teachers or native teachers shoulder every day.
But regardless of the benefits to not understanding everything that your students discuss around you, the communication barriers that occlude your ability to connect with your students take away some of the fundamental joys of teaching; getting to know what makes your students tick, what motivates them (other than candy, movies and games), and what they expect to get out of the salient and precarious student-teacher relationship.
25 October 2012
What to write, what to write.
So those of you who happen by this blog every once in awhile on your way to another web page may have noticed there hasn't been a lot of activity.
And here's why.
Culture shock is a bitch.
Even when you are aware of what you're going through because you've experienced it before, it's still a bitch.
In Italy, I didn't experience even a hint of culture shock. Despite it being my first time out of the country, no friends or family by my side, with several new cultural norms presenting themselves, I never had that feeling of "What the f%@* am I doing here?!" It most likely had something to do with the large quantities of pizza, pasta, wine and gelato I ingested. It definitely had something to do with the amazing people I met my first night in Siena.
In Thailand, the feeling of alienation lasted a few months. After this period of teary, slightly hysterical calls home and nights spent pacing my room wondering what in god's name had I gotten myself into, I calmed down, learned a bit of the language, and called the little city of Lampang my home. I made lovely friends. I fell enraptured with the country, its food and its people and when the time came to leave I had to pry myself away with a mental crowbar of logic.
Enter Korea. My culture shock finally dissipated I would say about five months in. Even though I was expecting the cultural beating, it came at me from a completely different direction and still, with all my awareness, managed to smack me in the face.
A couple examples, off the top of my head, would be the horrific driving skills (and this is after living in Italy and Thailand. Trust me, it's a whole new level here), the complete lack of consideration for personal space, the incredibly rude staring, the food and the weather. Essentially, it's the combination of all the above that really did it.
And above all this, the most frustrating part about living here is that in spite of realizing that the feeling of culture shock has finally passed, Korea is still a bummer.
Now, per my usual disclaimer, this is not the case for everyone. But as a friend put it to me just the other week, "It's not really our cup of tea." I couldn't agree more. For a million and one reasons, some not even having to do with the country itself, Korea has not been my cup of tea.
Korea is the first place I have lived in my life that on my list the cons have outweighed the pros. My co-workers rock. For the most part my school situation couldn't get much better. But many of the cultural norms and values that I had been prepared to write about via this blog are really very hard to deal with on a daily basis. Then after I got over the fact that they were hard to deal with, they just became annoyances worthy of several eye rolls a day. I have never experienced so many dislikes for a different culture, and being a lover of travel and diversity, not enjoying this small section of the world doesn't sit comfortably on me.
Hence the lack of posts; I really, really don't want this travel blog to be paragraph after paragraph of complaints and venting.
I know it doesn't all have to be uplifting tales of adventure. If the travel stories are at least mostly fact, this would be an impossibility. As any traveler knows there are always things that go wrong. Sometimes horribly so. And it's these stories that often make the most fun anecdotes at a later period. But for the most part Korea hasn't been a bunch of repugnant experiences that will later seem funny. It's merely been slightly mundane and often irritating.
So the fact is that I haven't written as much as I'd like because ninety percent of the posts would be discussing how I don't like this, I don't like that, and this other thing is really quite obnoxious. It's depressing to see my despondency in writing and that's what calling my parents and close friends is for (thanks guys!).
However, as of late, the culture shock has slowly dissolved and so has my intense frustration. It is now the end of October and fall has been a gradual splatter of colors and dry, warm, sunshine filled days; I no longer feel like I am teaching in a sauna or trapped inside my air conditioned apartment. This change is probably the most capacious reason for my recent uplifted attitude toward my situation (although in about two weeks I've been told we will again be living inside an ice cube). Moreover, I've come to realize it isn't a crime against diversity if I personally don't favor a particular way of life. It's okay that I'm not Korean culture's biggest fan. However, despite my recent concord, in terms of this blog, all in all, the fun or interesting stories just aren't there. Or if they are, they are too close for me to see them properly. Check back after I've returned home for awhile--it's quite possible, actually quite probable, that my perspective will have changed.
In the meantime, I'm staring at this blog's homepage and it's incredibly creative, clever title and culturally denotative background thinking, "Damn. What a waste." Then it occurred to me. I have been to thirteen different countries and no where on on my blog did I indicate I would only be chatting about Korea.
Therefore my new goal is to rehash some old travel tales. There are some good ones, in spite of the fact most of them usually end with, "I guess you had to be there..."
Hopefully incorporating past adventures will help to ensure that when I do feel the need to write about how Koreans can't drive, there is no attention paid to lower level students, or my co teacher at my middle school is slightly off her rocker, I won't feel like all I do is complain and people reading this hopefully won't think geeze what a downer. Because as dreadfully tedious and agitating as this country often seems, life is still pretty fricking awesome.
So while I make no promises to myself about any outpouring of posts--I have other writing, lots of reading, a job and boyfriend cuddle time to consider--I do hope that more regular entries will occur in the future.
Cheers : )
Some additional thoughts;
I've never kept a diary or a journal because I always felt it was incredibly egocentric. (Only in my own case, however; I immensely enjoy reading others' notes on life.) As I've begun this blog as well as some other writing projects, I have come to realize that I still feel this way and this is a huge hindrance in any personal desire to write that I might possess. So I've decided to come to terms with the fact that yes, writing is actually pretty egocentric, and maybe I should just get over it.
One more passing thought: Korea has taught me that if hell exists, I'm fairly certain most artists have it all wrong. I don't see it all dry and fiery... it's bound to be an alternating combination of 100 degrees below zero and 110 degrees above zero with 200% humidity. That way your body never gets a chance to adjust to a particular temperature, but instead is caught in a flux of extremes.
: )
And here's why.
Culture shock is a bitch.
Even when you are aware of what you're going through because you've experienced it before, it's still a bitch.
In Italy, I didn't experience even a hint of culture shock. Despite it being my first time out of the country, no friends or family by my side, with several new cultural norms presenting themselves, I never had that feeling of "What the f%@* am I doing here?!" It most likely had something to do with the large quantities of pizza, pasta, wine and gelato I ingested. It definitely had something to do with the amazing people I met my first night in Siena.
In Thailand, the feeling of alienation lasted a few months. After this period of teary, slightly hysterical calls home and nights spent pacing my room wondering what in god's name had I gotten myself into, I calmed down, learned a bit of the language, and called the little city of Lampang my home. I made lovely friends. I fell enraptured with the country, its food and its people and when the time came to leave I had to pry myself away with a mental crowbar of logic.
Enter Korea. My culture shock finally dissipated I would say about five months in. Even though I was expecting the cultural beating, it came at me from a completely different direction and still, with all my awareness, managed to smack me in the face.
A couple examples, off the top of my head, would be the horrific driving skills (and this is after living in Italy and Thailand. Trust me, it's a whole new level here), the complete lack of consideration for personal space, the incredibly rude staring, the food and the weather. Essentially, it's the combination of all the above that really did it.
And above all this, the most frustrating part about living here is that in spite of realizing that the feeling of culture shock has finally passed, Korea is still a bummer.
Now, per my usual disclaimer, this is not the case for everyone. But as a friend put it to me just the other week, "It's not really our cup of tea." I couldn't agree more. For a million and one reasons, some not even having to do with the country itself, Korea has not been my cup of tea.
Korea is the first place I have lived in my life that on my list the cons have outweighed the pros. My co-workers rock. For the most part my school situation couldn't get much better. But many of the cultural norms and values that I had been prepared to write about via this blog are really very hard to deal with on a daily basis. Then after I got over the fact that they were hard to deal with, they just became annoyances worthy of several eye rolls a day. I have never experienced so many dislikes for a different culture, and being a lover of travel and diversity, not enjoying this small section of the world doesn't sit comfortably on me.
Hence the lack of posts; I really, really don't want this travel blog to be paragraph after paragraph of complaints and venting.
I know it doesn't all have to be uplifting tales of adventure. If the travel stories are at least mostly fact, this would be an impossibility. As any traveler knows there are always things that go wrong. Sometimes horribly so. And it's these stories that often make the most fun anecdotes at a later period. But for the most part Korea hasn't been a bunch of repugnant experiences that will later seem funny. It's merely been slightly mundane and often irritating.
So the fact is that I haven't written as much as I'd like because ninety percent of the posts would be discussing how I don't like this, I don't like that, and this other thing is really quite obnoxious. It's depressing to see my despondency in writing and that's what calling my parents and close friends is for (thanks guys!).
However, as of late, the culture shock has slowly dissolved and so has my intense frustration. It is now the end of October and fall has been a gradual splatter of colors and dry, warm, sunshine filled days; I no longer feel like I am teaching in a sauna or trapped inside my air conditioned apartment. This change is probably the most capacious reason for my recent uplifted attitude toward my situation (although in about two weeks I've been told we will again be living inside an ice cube). Moreover, I've come to realize it isn't a crime against diversity if I personally don't favor a particular way of life. It's okay that I'm not Korean culture's biggest fan. However, despite my recent concord, in terms of this blog, all in all, the fun or interesting stories just aren't there. Or if they are, they are too close for me to see them properly. Check back after I've returned home for awhile--it's quite possible, actually quite probable, that my perspective will have changed.
In the meantime, I'm staring at this blog's homepage and it's incredibly creative, clever title and culturally denotative background thinking, "Damn. What a waste." Then it occurred to me. I have been to thirteen different countries and no where on on my blog did I indicate I would only be chatting about Korea.
Therefore my new goal is to rehash some old travel tales. There are some good ones, in spite of the fact most of them usually end with, "I guess you had to be there..."
Hopefully incorporating past adventures will help to ensure that when I do feel the need to write about how Koreans can't drive, there is no attention paid to lower level students, or my co teacher at my middle school is slightly off her rocker, I won't feel like all I do is complain and people reading this hopefully won't think geeze what a downer. Because as dreadfully tedious and agitating as this country often seems, life is still pretty fricking awesome.
So while I make no promises to myself about any outpouring of posts--I have other writing, lots of reading, a job and boyfriend cuddle time to consider--I do hope that more regular entries will occur in the future.
Cheers : )
Some additional thoughts;
I've never kept a diary or a journal because I always felt it was incredibly egocentric. (Only in my own case, however; I immensely enjoy reading others' notes on life.) As I've begun this blog as well as some other writing projects, I have come to realize that I still feel this way and this is a huge hindrance in any personal desire to write that I might possess. So I've decided to come to terms with the fact that yes, writing is actually pretty egocentric, and maybe I should just get over it.
One more passing thought: Korea has taught me that if hell exists, I'm fairly certain most artists have it all wrong. I don't see it all dry and fiery... it's bound to be an alternating combination of 100 degrees below zero and 110 degrees above zero with 200% humidity. That way your body never gets a chance to adjust to a particular temperature, but instead is caught in a flux of extremes.
: )
Not loving every experience doesn't mean you've lost the thirst for new travel adventures.
Come August I was starting to worry that perhaps I had simply lost my love of exploring new countries. Not enjoying Korea was depressing me immensely. In every culture there are bound to be things you don't appreciate, but to not be able to move past this and take pleasure in the overall way of life? It was such an unsettling feeling, and many of my fellow expats didn't make me feel any better--they seemed to be loving Korea, some of them already intent on re-signing. So what was wrong? Had I just grown tired? Less adventurous? Less flexible and open minded?
I was presented with the opinion that people who don't like it here just aren't trying hard enough. After resisting not punching said people in the face, I took some time to think about if this statement contained any truth. Okay-- since we are here to save money, we don't go out every weekend, partying it up on the streets of Daegu, Busan and Seoul. We don't take the KTX to every corner of the country or fly to Jeju on the weekend. But to me, these should be the extras; it's the quality of every day life that makes up the largest percentage of your time. And for the first few months my quality of life was trying not to get hit by unskilled drivers, which made up 80% of the driving population, attempting new Korean food that I continued to not have a taste for, and freeze to death every time I stepped a foot outside. I think the only part of my new life that didn't have me running home with hardly a peek behind, screw the completion bonus, was my school situation and the fact that the actual teaching in Korea has been a billion and one times easier than my teaching experience in Thailand. Everyday quality of school life = peaceful and productive with just a hint of crazy.
Late August we took off to Malaysia for our summer holiday. I had never been so excited to exit a particular culture, but I was anxious how I would find Malaysia. What if I didn't like that adventure either? Thankfully, Malaysia proved to be the refreshment we needed. We spent our time in Kuala Lumpur and the Perhentian Islands. People didn't run their shoulders into us as we passed them on the street. They smiled. They might take a second glance at the foreigner, but the unrelenting, up close stare didn't happen once. Okay, it actually did happen once on the subway, but as soon as I caught the person's eye they looked away embarrassed--they didn't continue to stare as if it wasn't an incredibly rude habit.
The food was lovely, the weather literally a breath of fresh air. And with all the delicious meals, white sand beaches and gorgeous dives, my favorite take away from our trip was that I still love to travel and explore new cultures. Even the aspects of Malaysia I didn't do handsprings about I still found interesting and enjoyed having the experience. (For example, getting stuck--literally unable to move--in a human traffic jam in Little India. Not the highlight of our trip but definitely an interesting situation!)
It's such a relief to know that I have not become someone who never wants to leave the comforts of their own home and who still enjoys the wayward adventure, when it's the perfect experience, and more importantly, even when it's not. Korea hasn't beaten that out of me yet : P
I was presented with the opinion that people who don't like it here just aren't trying hard enough. After resisting not punching said people in the face, I took some time to think about if this statement contained any truth. Okay-- since we are here to save money, we don't go out every weekend, partying it up on the streets of Daegu, Busan and Seoul. We don't take the KTX to every corner of the country or fly to Jeju on the weekend. But to me, these should be the extras; it's the quality of every day life that makes up the largest percentage of your time. And for the first few months my quality of life was trying not to get hit by unskilled drivers, which made up 80% of the driving population, attempting new Korean food that I continued to not have a taste for, and freeze to death every time I stepped a foot outside. I think the only part of my new life that didn't have me running home with hardly a peek behind, screw the completion bonus, was my school situation and the fact that the actual teaching in Korea has been a billion and one times easier than my teaching experience in Thailand. Everyday quality of school life = peaceful and productive with just a hint of crazy.
Late August we took off to Malaysia for our summer holiday. I had never been so excited to exit a particular culture, but I was anxious how I would find Malaysia. What if I didn't like that adventure either? Thankfully, Malaysia proved to be the refreshment we needed. We spent our time in Kuala Lumpur and the Perhentian Islands. People didn't run their shoulders into us as we passed them on the street. They smiled. They might take a second glance at the foreigner, but the unrelenting, up close stare didn't happen once. Okay, it actually did happen once on the subway, but as soon as I caught the person's eye they looked away embarrassed--they didn't continue to stare as if it wasn't an incredibly rude habit.
The food was lovely, the weather literally a breath of fresh air. And with all the delicious meals, white sand beaches and gorgeous dives, my favorite take away from our trip was that I still love to travel and explore new cultures. Even the aspects of Malaysia I didn't do handsprings about I still found interesting and enjoyed having the experience. (For example, getting stuck--literally unable to move--in a human traffic jam in Little India. Not the highlight of our trip but definitely an interesting situation!)
It's such a relief to know that I have not become someone who never wants to leave the comforts of their own home and who still enjoys the wayward adventure, when it's the perfect experience, and more importantly, even when it's not. Korea hasn't beaten that out of me yet : P
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