So those of you who happen by this blog every once in awhile on your way to another web page may have noticed there hasn't been a lot of activity.
And here's why.
Culture shock is a bitch.
Even when you are aware of what you're going through because you've experienced it before, it's still a bitch.
In Italy, I didn't experience even a hint of culture shock. Despite it being my first time out of the country, no friends or family by my side, with several new cultural norms presenting themselves, I never had that feeling of "What the f%@* am I doing here?!" It most likely had something to do with the large quantities of pizza, pasta, wine and gelato I ingested. It definitely had something to do with the amazing people I met my first night in Siena.
In Thailand, the feeling of alienation lasted a few months. After this period of teary, slightly hysterical calls home and nights spent pacing my room wondering what in god's name had I gotten myself into, I calmed down, learned a bit of the language, and called the little city of Lampang my home. I made lovely friends. I fell enraptured with the country, its food and its people and when the time came to leave I had to pry myself away with a mental crowbar of logic.
Enter Korea. My culture shock finally dissipated I would say about five months in. Even though I was expecting the cultural beating, it came at me from a completely different direction and still, with all my awareness, managed to smack me in the face.
A couple examples, off the top of my head, would be the horrific driving skills (and this is after living in Italy and Thailand. Trust me, it's a whole new level here), the complete lack of consideration for personal space, the incredibly rude staring, the food and the weather. Essentially, it's the combination of all the above that really did it.
And above all this, the most frustrating part about living here is that in spite of realizing that the feeling of culture shock has finally passed, Korea is still a bummer.
Now, per my usual disclaimer, this is not the case for everyone. But as
a friend put it to me just the other week, "It's not really our cup of
tea." I couldn't agree more. For a million and one reasons, some not
even having to do with the country itself, Korea has not been my cup of tea.
Korea is the first place I have lived in my life that on my list the
cons have outweighed the pros. My co-workers rock. For the most part
my school situation couldn't get much better. But many of the cultural
norms and values that I had been prepared to write about via this blog
are really very hard to deal with on a daily basis. Then after I got
over the fact that they were hard to deal with, they just became
annoyances worthy of several eye rolls a day. I have never experienced
so many dislikes for a different culture, and being a lover of
travel and diversity, not enjoying this small section of the world doesn't sit comfortably
on me.
Hence the lack of posts; I really, really don't want this travel blog to be paragraph
after paragraph of complaints and venting.
I know it
doesn't all have to be uplifting tales of adventure. If the travel stories are at least mostly fact, this would be an impossibility. As any
traveler knows there are always things that go wrong. Sometimes
horribly so. And it's these stories that often make the most fun anecdotes at a later period. But for the most part Korea hasn't been a bunch of repugnant experiences that will later seem funny. It's merely been slightly mundane and often irritating.
So the fact is that I haven't written as much as I'd like because ninety percent of
the posts would be discussing how I don't like this, I don't like that,
and this other thing is really quite obnoxious. It's depressing to see my despondency in
writing and that's what calling my parents and close friends is for
(thanks guys!).
However, as of late, the culture shock has slowly dissolved and so has my intense frustration. It is now the end of October and fall has been a gradual splatter of colors and dry, warm, sunshine filled days; I no longer feel like I am teaching in a sauna or trapped inside my air conditioned apartment. This change is probably the most capacious reason for my recent uplifted attitude toward my situation (although in about two weeks I've been told we will again be living inside an ice cube). Moreover, I've come to realize it isn't a crime against diversity if I personally don't favor a particular way of life. It's okay that I'm not Korean culture's biggest fan. However, despite my recent concord, in terms of this blog, all in all, the fun or interesting stories just aren't there. Or if they are, they
are too close for me to see them properly.
Check back after I've returned home for awhile--it's quite possible, actually quite probable, that my
perspective will have changed.
In the meantime, I'm staring at this blog's homepage and it's incredibly creative, clever title and culturally denotative background thinking, "Damn. What a waste." Then it occurred to me. I have been to thirteen different countries and no where on on my blog did I indicate I would only be chatting about Korea.
Therefore my new goal is to rehash some old travel tales. There are some good ones, in spite of the fact most of them usually end with, "I guess you had to be there..."
Hopefully incorporating past adventures will help to ensure that when I do feel the need to write about how Koreans can't drive, there is no
attention paid to lower level students, or my co teacher at my middle
school is slightly off her rocker, I won't feel like all I do is
complain and people reading this hopefully won't think
geeze what a downer. Because as dreadfully tedious and agitating as this country often seems, life is still pretty fricking awesome.
So while I make no promises to myself about any outpouring of posts--I have other writing, lots of reading, a job and boyfriend cuddle time to consider--I do hope that more regular entries will occur in the future.
Cheers : )
Some additional thoughts;
I've never kept a diary or a journal because I always felt it was incredibly egocentric. (Only in my own case, however; I immensely enjoy reading others' notes on life.) As I've begun this blog as well as some other writing projects, I have come to realize that I still feel this way and this is a huge hindrance in any personal desire to write that I might possess. So I've decided to come to terms with the fact that yes, writing is actually pretty egocentric, and maybe I should just get over it.
One more passing thought: Korea has taught me that if hell exists, I'm fairly certain most artists have it all wrong. I don't see it all dry and fiery... it's bound to be an alternating combination of 100 degrees below zero and 110 degrees above zero with 200% humidity. That way your body never gets a chance to adjust to a particular temperature, but instead is caught in a flux of extremes.
: )
